[A mask, indeed...but then it's Douman's turn, and the scene warps-]
[There is a man kneeling in the middle of a room in the night. The man is Ashiya Douman. They stare at the wall across from them, with wide, weary eyes, their body tensed, like expecting a threat.]
[A person steps out of the shadows, bending down to embrace them, clawed fingernails digging deep into their shoulder.]
[The person in question is Ashiya Douman.]
[And Douman bends in to whisper something into the first Douman's ear. A single hissed sentence, a simple statement, said as fact.]
["If things remain as they are, you'll never once surpass Seimei."]
[And instantly, the rush of emotions comes. Sorrow. Terror. Fear. Anger. Hatred. Jealousy. Unbelievable despair. It comes like a roaring tide, and the first Douman starts to weep, and weep and weep, and howl like the world itself is ending, and things start to crash together in static, and it is impossible to tell where one Ashiya Douman begins and the other ends and-]
[And suddenly, where there were two, there is just one. Ashiya Douman, kneeling quietly in the middle of a moonlit room.]
[Just smiling to themselves. Their eyes open, dark.]
[Comfortable.]
[The Douman of real life draws back, scowling and looking away.]
[Omi does very little on his own. It's that feeling of "I need to step up" or "I can't just ignore this" that tends to move him. This last play Autumn performed, that was the first time he volunteered himself for the leading position.
He does not understand this memory. Why are there two of them- where did the first one go? Was it because what the shadow version said was true? Did they accept what they were told after the rush of emotions.
[Douman seems to freeze in place, stiffening at the embrace. Why is this happening? What did they do, to warrant this? Omi is someone to toy with, to play with, have sex with, so why...why...]
[Isn't this nice? To let people believe in a lie? To let them share emotions, to entrap them within them? Why doesn't it feel nice? What is this uncomfortable sensation, this stifling, constrictive feeling?]
[Douman doesn't understand. They can't understand. There is no capability to understand...is there?]
You... [A gritting of the teeth - Douman lets out a choked noise.] Omi...
[They pull back...only to crash lips against lips.]
[Its meant to distract them from the weight of strange feelings in their chest. But it doesn't seem to be doing much at all.]
[It feels like it should help. Physical pleasures are always worthwhile, for a hedonistic soul like theirs.]
[And yet the irritation grows when nothing feels resolved. Douman breaks it finally, resting their head on Omi's shoulder, expression hidden as they murmur.]
...Let's go back to our room. [Their arms move around the other's waist, grip tightening.] Please.
[Douman doesn't even look back. They wordlessly open the door with their phone - as they enter, they start to strip piece by piece, layer by layer of their robes.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He grew to love the stage, and the people he shares it with.
How should he put it...?]
At some point, it became both of ours.
[It's not just Nachi's dream anymore.]
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[A mask, indeed...but then it's Douman's turn, and the scene warps-]
[There is a man kneeling in the middle of a room in the night. The man is Ashiya Douman. They stare at the wall across from them, with wide, weary eyes, their body tensed, like expecting a threat.]
[A person steps out of the shadows, bending down to embrace them, clawed fingernails digging deep into their shoulder.]
[The person in question is Ashiya Douman.]
[And Douman bends in to whisper something into the first Douman's ear. A single hissed sentence, a simple statement, said as fact.]
["If things remain as they are, you'll never once surpass Seimei."]
[And instantly, the rush of emotions comes. Sorrow. Terror. Fear. Anger. Hatred. Jealousy. Unbelievable despair. It comes like a roaring tide, and the first Douman starts to weep, and weep and weep, and howl like the world itself is ending, and things start to crash together in static, and it is impossible to tell where one Ashiya Douman begins and the other ends and-]
[And suddenly, where there were two, there is just one. Ashiya Douman, kneeling quietly in the middle of a moonlit room.]
[Just smiling to themselves. Their eyes open, dark.]
[Comfortable.]
[The Douman of real life draws back, scowling and looking away.]
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He does not understand this memory. Why are there two of them- where did the first one go? Was it because what the shadow version said was true? Did they accept what they were told after the rush of emotions.
Omi has not really let go of Douman's arm yet.]
... Were they both you?
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[Douman's face is...unreadable.]
[After a moment, a smile cracks over their face, but it feels like more of a customary thing, a thing they have to do, at any time, at any day.]
What do you think?
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That other one doesn't really seem like you.
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[Douman pauses...and then laughs - a cold, cold laugh.]
I see, I see! Mmm, how very interesting.
[No confirmation?]
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Still, Omi wants to believe in them. So.
Here he is. He hasn't backed away.]
This sharing memories thing is why you're avoiding me, right?
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[The tone is almost mocking, insulting, but despite that...]
[Douman isn't stepping away, either.]
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He steps closer and pulls them into a hug.]
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[What...?]
[What is this?]
[Douman seems to freeze in place, stiffening at the embrace. Why is this happening? What did they do, to warrant this? Omi is someone to toy with, to play with, have sex with, so why...why...]
[After a moment, Douman says, a little hoarse:]
I...don't understand.
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What do you think?
[He'll echo it back, softer, gentler.]
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[A repeat of the question. Confusion abides. And then a heat, a warmth in the cheeks, but there's a rise of anger, too, as what says next-]
Are you mocking me...?
[Why would it be anything else? Why would anyone do this to them, for any other reason?]
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[Maybe he sees a little bit of himself there, in those memories. In those dark thoughts given form.
Maybe this is something he wished somebody would've done for him back then.]
I care about you.
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[...They should be taking pleasure in this.]
[Isn't this nice? To let people believe in a lie? To let them share emotions, to entrap them within them? Why doesn't it feel nice? What is this uncomfortable sensation, this stifling, constrictive feeling?]
[Douman doesn't understand. They can't understand. There is no capability to understand...is there?]
You... [A gritting of the teeth - Douman lets out a choked noise.] Omi...
[They pull back...only to crash lips against lips.]
[Its meant to distract them from the weight of strange feelings in their chest. But it doesn't seem to be doing much at all.]
[Maybe more is needed.]
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So he lets them. He kisses back. Do they need this? Is it helping?
Is it nothing more than a distraction?
Omi is willing to follow their lead.]
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[And yet the irritation grows when nothing feels resolved. Douman breaks it finally, resting their head on Omi's shoulder, expression hidden as they murmur.]
...Let's go back to our room. [Their arms move around the other's waist, grip tightening.] Please.
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Alright. Our room.
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[They eventually tear themselves off Omi, turning to walk down the hallway towards the rooms. They aren't going to wait to see if Omi follows or not.]
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[All doing it silently the whole time.]
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He'll strip out of his own clothes.]
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[They gesture to Omi.]
Come here. [A placid smile, a pause.] I want you.
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Do you?
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